The Jedi Knights who say Nee!
by skyguyalltheway
Summary: Deciding they need a break for the raging Clone Wars, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker and his apprentice Ahsoka Tano decide to play a prank (with the help of Yoda) on good ol' Obi wan Kenobi. WARNING: Contains one word some consider a swear word.


The Jedi Knights who say "Nee"

Obi wan Kenobi walked into the apartment of his former padawan, Anakin. Looking at his datapad, he called out to both Anakin and Ahsoka. "Anakin, Ahsoka, the council wants us to go-"

"Nee!" Obi wan looked up to see what was going on. He found Ahsoka and Anakin standing in the entrance to the kitchen.

"What did you-?"

"Nee!" Anakin cut him off.

Obi wan shook his head. "The council wants us to-"

"Nee!" This time it was Ahsoka who cut off the Jedi master.

Obi wan looked from the small togruta to the young Jedi standing beside her. "I suggest you control your padawan."

"Nee!" Anakin responded.

Obi wan sighed. "Just who are you supposed to be?"

"We are the Jedi Knights Who Say... Nee!" Anakin responded.

"No! Not the Jedi Knights Who Say Nee!" Obi wan said dramatically, giving in to the two's foolishness.

"The same!" confirmed Ahsoka joyfully.

"Who exactly are they?" Obi wan asked her.

"We," Ahsoka corrected. "are the keepers of the sacred words: Nee, Pen, and

Nee-wom!"

Obi wan looked at the clock. "Anakin, we really must go."

Anakin shook his head. "The Jedi Knights Who Say Nee demand a sacrifice!"

"Ahsoka, Anakin, we _have _to go!" Obi wan repeated.

The two looked at each other, then turned back to Obi wan. "Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!"

"Oh, come on!" Obi wan shouted, throwing his hands into the air.

Anakin stepped forward and held a hand up for silence. "We shall say 'nee' again to you if you do not appease us."

Obi wan stared at Anakin for a while before giving in. "Well, what is it you want?"

"We want... a shrubbery!"

"A what?"

"Nee! Nee!" Shouted Ahsoka and her master in unison.

"Oh fine! I shall find a shrubbery."

This time Ahsoka spoke. "You must return here with a shrubbery or else we will never come on your mission.

Obi wan bowed to the pair in false appreciation. "O Jedi Knights of Nee, you are just and fair, and I will return with a shrubbery."

Ahsoka nodded enthusiastically. "One that looks nice."

"Of course."

Anakin hesitated, thinking of his and Obi wan's shared credits. "And not too expensive."

Obi wan smirked, obviously following Anakin's thought pattern. "Yes."

"Now... go!" Ahsoka and Anakin declared in unison.

Obi wan obeyed, muttering as he left the apartment. "We don't have time for this."

* * *

It didn't take the Jedi master long to find a decent shrubbery, for the Temple Gardens had just been redone and the were handing out the plants to all those who wanted one. Obi wan winced as he found it was Yoda handing out the plants.

Yoda spotted Obi wan heading toward the table and quickly hid his datapad which still read "From Anakin, concerning the Jedi Knights Who Say Nee."

"Master Yoda," Obi wan greeted, bowing to the small green master.

"Obi wan." Yoda acknowledged. "To the gardens, what brings you? A mission, you have."

"Yes, Master Yoda. I am aware of that, but-"

"No buts," Yoda interrupted. "The way of the Jedi, this is not."

"Yes Master." Obi wan looked awkwardly at the pile of plants sitting on the table. "You don't happen to have a shrubbery in there, do you?"

Yoda smiled knowingly as he nodded and went to prepare the shrubbery.

* * *

Obi wan returned to the apartment, finding that Yoda had kept his promise to have the shrubbery delivered. Yes, there was the shrubbery, sitting right in the middle of his and Anakin's shared apartment. He shook his head at the mess and then turned to look at Ahsoka and Anakin. "O, Knights of Nee, I have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?"

Anakin nodded thoughtfully. "It is a good shrubbery. I like the Woosha particularly." He hesitated, then smiled at his padawan. "But there is one small problem."

Obi wan stared at his former padawan in dismay. "What is that?"

"Snips and I are now... no longer the Jedi Knights Who Say Nee."

"Nee!" Ahsoka shouted.

Anakin glared at her. "Shh shh. We are now the Jedi Knights Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble."

"Nee!" Ahsoka repeated.

"Therefore," Anakin continued, ignoring his padawan,"we must give you a test.

Obi wan groaned. "What is this test, O Jedi Knights of—Jedi Knights Who 'Til Recently Said Nee?"

Ahsoka looked up at Obi wan with great importance in her eyes. "Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!"

"Not another shrubbery!" Obi wan groaned.

Anakin nodded. "Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle."

Ahsoka's smile widened as she chanted, "A path! A path! Nee!"

Anakin placed a hand on his bouncing padawan's head, his own emotions having difficulty hiding. He struggle to regain seriousness, then continued. "Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a pallie!"

Obi wan gaped. "I shall do no such thing!"

"Oh, please!" Ahsoka pleaded, gaining a glare from Anakin.

"Cut down a tree with a pallie? It can't be done."

"Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!" Anakin and Ahsoka stepped back like they had been jumped on by a wild bantha.

Anakin fake-recovered and placed a hand on his chest. "Don't say that word!" he gasped.

"What word?" Obi wan asked, once again confused.

Anakin shook his head at his former master's words. "I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Nee cannot hear."

Obi wan threw his hands up in surrender. "How can I not say the word if you don't tell me what it is?"

"Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!" Ahsoka fell over and Anakin backed up, doubling over in fake pain.

"What, `is'?" asked Obi wan, wondering if he should help Ahsoka off the ground.

Ahsoka stood up and giggled. "No, not `is' - we couldn't get vary far in life not saying `is'." She wiped the dust off her robes and then looked past Obi wan. Her smile widened even more and she turned to whisper to Anakin, "Skyguy, it's Master Yoda!"

Obi wan turned as Yoda came into the apartment, singing. "Packing it in and packing it up,

And sneaking away and buggering up

And chickening out and pissing about

Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge"

Obi wan looked at Yoda in horror, mostly because of the master's use of the words "pissing about". "Master Yoda?" he asked.

Obi wan! Good to see you, it is!

Ahsoka and Anakin reared back again. "AAAAUGH!"

Anakin stared at his apprentice in mock dismay. "He said the word!"

"Surely you've not forgotten about how we are supposed to be on a mission?" Obi wan asked Yoda, ignoring Anakin and Ahsoka completely."

"No, no- far from it."

It was Ahsoka's turn to cry in pain. "He said the word again, Master!"

"Come here to talk about it, I did."

"Aaaaugh!" Anakin and Ahsoka cried, both of them now flinching on the ground.

At the sight, even Yoda faught to maintain seriousness. "In Tatooine, your mission is?"

"No," Obi wan said in confusion. Yoda was the one who had given them the mission! "it is far from—"

"Aaaaugh!" Ahsoka screamed.

"Aaaaugh!" Anakin cried. "Stop saying the word!"

"Oh, stop it!" Obi wan shouted.

"Aaaaugh, Master! He said it again!" Ahsoka cried.

Yoda finally smiled when Obi wan muttered, "I'll be back in an hour."

"Aaugh!" Ahsoka shouted, her cries now being replaced with laughter. "I said it! I said it! Ooh! I said it again!"

"Aaaaugh!" Anakin cried.

"Gone, Kenobi is." Yoda stated with a smile on his wrinkled face.

Anakin and Ahsoka stood from the ground. "Nice job, Snips." Anakin complimented, patting Ahsoka's head with his glove-covered hand.

"Not too bad yourself, Skyguy." She replied with a smile, looking up to see her master had given into the laughter, too.

They turned and bowed to Master Yoda, who stood there clapping. "Good actors, you both are. But, the way of the Jedi, that is not. Glad to help you this time, I was, but happen frequently, this should not."

"Yes, Master Yoda." Anakin replied, being the first to figure out what the Jedi Master was trying to say. "I just think that Obi wan needed a puzzle to sort out." He looked at the shrubbery. "Plus, the shrubbery looks nice."

Ahsoka laughed and then looked at Yoda. "Master Yoda, when is our real mission?"

"Tomorrow." Yoda replied, turning toward the door. "But in an hour, Obi wan expects you. Go and pack, you both should."

"Yes Master Yoda." The two said, bowing to the retreating Jedi.

They turned to each other and laughed but turned serious again when Yoda popped his head back in and questioned, "My acting, how was it?"

Anakin laughed. "Very good, Master Yoda."

Yoda nodded thoughtfully before pointing to the baggage with his stick. "Pack." He instructed before leaving.

Ahsoka and Anakin followed instructions, smiling to themselves as they imagined what Obi wan's lecture would be like the next day.


End file.
